A glimpse into my head, where everything happens everywhere all at once and there is nothing I can do to stop the constant noise, the voices, the thoughts unraveling. Even before I had grasped the concept of mental ill-being, I often felt the need to pour the endless stream of my (sub)consciousness onto paper. Here it is, the real intellectual chaos, the abyss of my soul, the dangerous thoughts of destruction. If you get anxious while reading – congratulations, you really arrived at the intellectual chaos. We’re all mad here, but it’s not a wonderland.